1. The internet woman: You need to pay for access.
2. The server woman: She’s always busy when you need her.
3. The Windows woman: You know she has a lot of mistakes but you can’t live without her.
4. The Powerpoint woman: She’s ideal to present to other people at parties.
5. The Excel woman: She’s said to be capable of quite alot but you only use the four basic functionalities.
6. The Word woman: She manages to surprise time and again but no one really understands her.
7. The DOS woman: Everybody had her, but no one wants her now.
8. The back-up woman: You think she’s got it all but when look closely you see she misses something.
9. The Scandisk woman: You know she only wants your best, nobody knows what she really can do but to be deadly honest: She’s just annoying.
10. The screensaver woman: She’s useless but you like looking at her.
11. The harddrive woman: She remembers anything at any time of day.
12. The e-mail woman: 9 out of 10 things she tells you are complete bullshit.
13. The virus woman: When you expect it the least she’s going to install herself to your house. When you try to deinstall you’ll have to find lots of things missing. If you don’t try to deinstall you loose it all.
14. The Firefox woman: Better than your Ex but she still likes to crash every once in a while.
15. The Linux woman: You need to spend a lot of time to get anything from her. If you make small mistakes you loose it all.
16. The bruteforce woman: She just keeps babbeling at you until you say she’s right.
17. The DDOS woman: She just keeps babbeling at you until you have a nervous breakdown.
18. The ZIP woman: Upon unpacking she reveals her true body weight
19. The USB drive woman: Just an affair.
20. The TFT woman: A bit flat yetfulfilling its duties as well as any other.
21. The webcam woman: You feel watched by her, even if she’s off or sleeping.
22. The Top-Game woman: First you know her from pictures only and want her at any cost - but once you have her she’s lying around somewhere getting dusty.
23. The “Duke Nukem 4ever” woman: Nope, she doesn’t exist.
24. The mouse woman: (non optical) When her underside gets nasty you don’t want to play with her any more.
I guess Mike would like to meet a linux woman